Twelve mugs. We have twelve mugs! Why do we have twelve mugs? I tell you why. Because one we stole from a B&B, one we bought when we were on holiday, one comes from a charity jumble sale, one is a gift, another belonged to aunt Brigitte... Yep, and so on. Fact is that only two people are presently living in the house - my wife and I. And we're not very sociable people either. Yes, we should get rid of the most of the lot. We're never gonna have ten guests at one time. It just won't happen. Twice a year, one in the summer and one at Christmas, our son Tommy turns up with his wife, and she doesn't do teas nor coffees. Well, she doesn't do anything really. Facebook, mainly. Anyway, in these two occasions, we use three mugs - that leaves nine idle, taking room (and dust) in the cupboard, as for the rest of the year. Alright, alright... Mrs Flanders! Fiona, our neighbour. She pays us a visit ever...
Oggi, il gatto della mia padrona di casa ha fatto la pipì in soggiorno, proprio vicino al tappeto al centro della stanza. Anzi, a dire il vero, a fianco c'era anche un piccolo stronzo marrone scuro. Il gatto si è dichiarato subito innocente. Solo fatto pipì, giura, e tutti e due,il gatto e la padrona, hanno cominciato a fissarmi: è a me che volevano dare la colpa? Così ho cagato sul divano. Alla fine, il confronto degli stronzi mi ha scagionato dalle accuse. Today, my landlady's cat peed in the lounge, right next to the rug, in the middle of the room. Besides, to say the truth, there was also a little, dark brown turd. The cat pleaded not guilty, straight away - Pee only, he swore, and both the cat and the landlady started to stare at me. Were they trying to blame me? So I shat on the sofa. Finally, the turds comparison discharged me from all accusations.
LANDLADY - ...all food scraps go into that small bin near the sink , and don't mix 'em with kitchen paper as you did last time. STUPID LODGER - Why not? In my Country paper towels are considered humid waste, just as food LANDLADY - In this Country a paper towel is still paper, and it goes with paper scrap. STUPID LODGER - Uh ...OK then. LANDLADY - ...and when the small bin is full, chuck everything in the big brown recycle bin, in the backyard. Is that all clear? STUPID LODGER - Yes, I guess so. LANDLADY - But remember: you can't throw food just like that, you have to wrap it first in an old newspaper. Is that clear? STUPID LODGER - Er... in a what ? LANDLADY - Do you even understand what I'm saying [stupid lodger]?
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